I know everyone has been waiting and it’s finally here: episode 3 of “Memorable Quotes from Shitty Movies”. In this fabulous episode, Max shares memorable quotes from the classic 1996 Shaq film “Kazaam” in which Shaq plays himself. Enjoy:

“Nov. 16 1989 to day Ba lost his toth.”

Ba was also rockin’ headphones at a very young age.

“Nov. 15, 1989 Today we are going to the play I hop it is good”

Fortunately, I must’ve made it to the play before the walking L stabbed my neck.

“Nov. 14, 1989 Today I waz bod the r waz nathing to bo.”

I guess I was one of those sad, bald, no legged children who spent the days staring off into space with only a lone orange block to keep me company.

“Nov. 10, 1989 Today we did Hair g atrkee”

I honestly have no idea what this means. Can someone translate?

“Nov. 9, 1989 my techr is chos ing the pepl ho are going on th feld play.”

Hockey stick or seatbelt on the lower left? You decide.

“Nov. 8, 1989 the kis that wet in a bas hadto go owt the bak dor.”

Welcome! I’m starting a new series called “A Day In The Life of Brett.” Each week I’m going to post a page of my kindergarten journal.

For those of you who find this strikingly familiar, that means you have visited this blog before! And if you have visited this blog before, you are probably my friend, so you’ll understand when I say I got busy and stopped updating.

All that ends now! I’m official relaunching this series, in chronological order. Expect regular updates, every Wednesday, until I run out of journal, at which point, we may move into some of my more advanced middle school work.

But until then, here we go!

“Nov. 7, 1989 We ken biye are snax.  I had a capcap.”

Brett frequently leaves me voicemails as “My Jewish Grandmother.”  Here is the latest one.

Brett Voicemail 10-2

There will be many more.

“May. 15, 1990.  Today I have nuthing to siad.”